November 9th, 2008

Since people (especially the medical community) know about gender differences in depression, (several studies have shown that there is a statistically significant difference (mostly) in the ‘expression’ of symptoms rather than the ‘experience’ of depression in males than in females which can explain gender-specific types of depression), yet choose to still treat men and women ‘equally’ (IE. The same) is nothing less than gender bias.

Lets imagine the same scenario, but with a more ‘acceptable’ illness such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes with a more ‘vulnerable’ segment of society (IE. women, children, the elderly), and (justifiably), public outcry would ensue.

Similarly, the lack of public interest in depression is disproportionate to common knowledge of depression and its symptoms.

Available information regarding depression and its symptoms is plentiful .‘Visible’ symptoms include instability (work, relationships, finances), lack of energy, isolation, bad decision making. Even the correlation between substance abuse and depression is acknowledged. Hence, calling depression an ’invisible’ illness is false.

The most commonly used reason (excuse?) for depression (and overall mental illness) not being as acknowledged as other organic diseases, is ‘lack of education’. Educating oneself (or not) is a conscious decision. We choose to educate ourselves or remain ignorant.

That said, the availability of information is the first step to un-stigmatizing depression, and here’s hoping we reach that soon.

Down in the dumps

Over the weekend, did 2-a-day sessions of running and weights which were helpful to regain a better focus on things and remain relatively sane.

I'm going to train more intensely and seriously as will run a big local 10K in April (SunRun) and the Vancouver international Marathon in May.

Doing breathing exercises, keeping my posture straight as well as doing pilates/yoga type exercises and stretches have been beneficial as they add a calming aspect to my workout which I truly need right now.

Weather here has been crappy (heavy rain, wind, cold) for over a week and no letting up in sight. It's not that I mind running in it, in fact it gives me extra satisfaction to train in less than ideal conditions as when race time comes, odds are conditions will be better and if they're not i'm used to it.

When it comes to everyday life though, getting up to a downpour, looking out the office window to darkness, dampness, people freezing at bus stops....the parallel with my mood is obvious.

Don't know

why I entitled this "happiness", all I want is sanity.

Running is the only thing that is keeping me somewhat sane. Without it I'd be dead.

The parallel between "running" and "running away" (from the realities of my life) is obvious, but I don't care. When I run and the few hours after are the only times I feel good, think straight and have hope.

If running is an escape or just my way of coping is irrelevant, it's the only thing keeping me going.

A lot of crap recently which I should post here but haven't. Regardless.

Today was the ING NYC marathon and 2 athletes I look up to where there achieving milestones.

Lance Armstrong ran his first marathon in 2:59!!!! Wow, under 3:00, good job Lance!!

In post race press conference he mentionned that it was the toughest athletic thing he had done (even tougher than his toughest days in France!!!)

As runners we should take solice in this because if Lance Armstrong finds it hard and we do it everyday, it says something about us.

The second is Dean Karnazes who is winding up his 50 / 50 / 50 which is 50 Mararthons in 50 days in 50 days. An incredible feat. I haven't found his time yet, but nonetheless, Congrats Dean.


So I'm still rather down in the dumps, but doing 2-a-day runs / workout sessions which are helping me cope with life.

I also like finding and hearing about people like Dean and Lance who's athletic conquests remind me that there's always more.

thanks guys

Rough period

Been going through rough period since I last posted.

I don't want to use this as a personal venting forum, but lets just say day-to-day life is more of a nuisance than anything to me and my coping skills are not very good.

The dilema is that when I feel like this, my energy is way down. I don't run or work out thinking I won't be out there long enough to make it worthwhile and that even if I do, my problems (which seem insurmountable at times) will still be there.
Yet at the same time I know that running is the only thing that keeps me (relitavely) sane and that I do feel at least a little better afterwards.

In the past few months I've even had runs of 10-15 minutes which sound meaningless for someone who's completed a marathon and is aiming at more.
Nonetheless, after those I did get the sense of satisfaction of having gone out.

Yesterday was my first longer training session as i was 15 minutes on the treadmill and followed that with 45 minutes of weights.
I also went for a quick 20-minute run this morning.

The feeling of looking forward to the next run is slowly coming back and right now, that's the only thing I find meaningful in my life.

Looking forward to tonight's run and posting the results...

First Post

I've been fighting depression for years and tried running away from it in all
sorts of convoluted ways like working 80 hours a week, drinking myself silly,
playing the field and in more conventional ways like therapy and medication.

The only thing that has consistently kept me mentally healthier (physically too
of course) is running. And I mean intense hardcore running.
Training for and completing my first (so far only) marathon (Vancouver Int'l in
2005), my depressive symptons were practically absent.

I am currently going through the most difficult depressive episode of my life,
and am back to running regularly which allows me a certain amount of sanity.

Running is my depression defeater and this is my story...